Notes of a Sportswriter's Daughter
by Donna Haraway

© Donna Haraway

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Confessions of a Hell's Aussie
How I became a Weaver Chick with Agilitude

A girl needs attitude. A girl needs class. A girl needs to be agile to get through the tunnels and serpentine mazes of daily life. At least, my life is full of tunnels and many, many other obstacles. Even if I'm a bit drunk from weaving around poles in the middle of nowhere, I'm asked to switch to a threadle or pinwheel, all on the correct lead, even if my partner is off daydreaming. Just when I think I'm free, I have to glue my rear appendages to a contact zone painted in a color I can barely see and wait for my partner's signal to move. I'm supposed to all this at well over 5 yards per second-without a motorcycle coveted by all normal Hell's Angels. Maybe this scenario is not the case for all dogs, but it's sure my fate. But since I was 6 months old, I have had help, lots of help. I have had Agilitude.

A girl needs other girls. My life is blissfully full of girls. One of them is named Gail; she's the one who taught me and my hominid partner the way-more-than-twelve-step agilitude that means so much to me. I have a higher power; indeed, I AM a higher power. Whoops, that could get me into trouble. Still, I am a master; I am excellent; I am elite; I am qualified to compete in the National Grand Prix. Agilitude has made all this possible.

In all humility, I have to admit that weaving is a twelve-step program. I've tried to make it 10 steps from time-to-time, but all the girls in my life object. They object so nicely though, with hands full of tasty cheese sharks that are baked by that nice woman in a booth at the USDAA trials who lost her job and turned to cooking for dogs to make ends meet. (They don't meet, but she's still cooking for dogs until her unemployment benefits run out.) With a cheese shark in the offing, I'll do as many steps as my hominid buddies require. Why, just last week I wove like Roadrunner through 48 poles in a line. I am a weaver chick with agilitude!

My teacher is moving to Oregon. My human has had tears in her eyes over this fact. But she and I are so full of memories of friendship, mentoring, and moving through the courses of our days with Gail at speed, with heart, and with as much skill as we can muster. We are very, very grateful. May Gail, Ralph, and their gang of Hell's Aussies live long and prosper!

(signed) Cayenne:djh

Entries in Chronological Order

MetaRetrievers on the Beach
Novice Play, Novice Players
Baby Weaves
Home Study
Klingon Warrior Princess
Marco's Story
Tales from the Crypt
Cats for Dog People
Blood on the Path
Personals Column
Touching Comfort
Hell's Aussie
Somewhere Off 34th Street
Daemon Tear

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